We tend to learn about a type of sex that’s great for men, but leaves something to be desired for women. Since even progressive communities don’t devote much time to women’s pleasure, even women themselves can go years without knowing what it is that pleases them. Here are some dos and don’ts if you want to make sex better for her.
1. Don’t Rush It
It takes most women some time to relax and focus to make sex better. Eliminate TV, work, errands, and other distractions. Men need to give some support in chores and responsibilities so their partners can focus for some time on themselves. They are creating a comfortable environment for them to start enjoying sex by supporting them in knowing they have time to unwind.
Feeling disturbed, distracted, or rushed turns many women off to the point of making it impossible to enjoy a sexual encounter.
2. Do Explore Her Body
Women have so many zones on their bodies to be explored. Start with the neck, shoulders, and ears. Then, glide your hands down her back. Explore her inner thighs and rear. Some women love their feet being touched and caressed. The clitoris should be the final stop. Don’t ever dive right for it, arousal isn’t that quick to come, and it might even feel painful.
Gentle, light touches can feel nice to some and annoying to others. As you explore her body, watch for feedback. If you’re not getting any hints, ask outright whether something feels good. Don’t forget to stroke and suck the nipples. Some like nipple biting, but others find it uncomfortable. Start gently and assume nothing.
3. Do use Toys
When you both relax yourselves it can help her give in to orgasm. Since this isn’t as easy as it sounds, toys can be an incredible aid. Using a vibrator on her clit will speed it up as long as you get the right one. If she likes extended play, bringing toys into the bedroom gives her a chance to open up sexually while relieving you of the duty of having to take care of everything.
Some women can enjoy foreplay of up to an hour before finally climaxing. There is great pleasure in anticipation.
Using a dildo on her as you play with the clit guarantees positive stimulation. When it comes to dildos, the opportunities are practically endless. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some have special curves to stimulate the G-spot, which is about 3 inches into the vagina on the side near the abdomen. There are also dildos with harnesses, which are perfect for people who are into double penetration. In this case, you can’t go wrong with a hollow strap-on with harness.
4. Don’t Ignore Her Needs
While no one expects you to read minds, clear and open communication about needs and preferences is indispensable. Do ask about what she wants and doesn’t want, but not to just throw it out there. Wait for the answer and listen so you can create a nicer experience for her.
When she comes, don’t demand she reciprocates immediately. While sex should certainly be enjoyable for both, and nothing feels as good as an orgasm, she can be left feeling disappointed if you expect her to perform right after hers. Give it some time; don’t put pressure on her. Things will happen eventually.
Some women find no meaning to an orgasm without a deeper intention or connection. To get the blood moving, touch-sensitive areas using long, firm strokes. This invites her to relax and sends the message that she has all the time she needs for a truly enjoyable experience.
5. Do Focus on the Clitoris
Don’t dive right for the clit, but do focus on it and on the lips. Few women can come from vaginal stimulation alone.
6. Do Learn to Read Body Language
Communication is indispensable when it comes to intimacy. If you can’t figure out how she likes to be touched, don’t be afraid to ask her to show you. Start slowly. If the vagina feels dry, consider using lubricant (although the vagina normally lubricates naturally with arousal).
7. Do Pace Yourself
Don’t rush into penetration even if you’re very aroused. Building pleasure has a direct connection to the time and ability to orgasm. Build anticipation by exploring the body and kissing her.
8. Do try to Ease Her Mind
Women’s orgasms are closely linked to emotional, relational, and mental factors. A lot of women find they are unable to come if their mind isn’t ‘on it’. To achieve the right mindset, you need to make her feel comfortable. Without that, surrendering to orgasm is quite impossible.
Send her sexy texts during the day if you’re sure there’s no risk of someone else reading them and the whole thing becoming awkward. How you interact outside the bedroom is just as important as in it. To create a flourishing romantic connection that promises mutual pleasure, you must spend time nurturing it. This creates anticipation and excitement for what’s to come.
As you begin to transition into sex, assure yourself she’s ready. The best sign of this is vaginal lubrication. To create a sexy mindset, you could light candles, read erotica, or watch porn if there’s something you’re both into.
9. Do Spend Time Away from the Genitals
There are people who can come just by being touched in an erogenous zone. Spend at least 15 minutes on a non-genital body part to optimize pleasure for her.
10. Do Explore Alternatives
Are you always doing it in one and the same position? While there’s certainly nothing wrong with having a favourite sex position, changing things up once in a while can feel very refreshing and pleasant. Try it doggy style if you’re always doing it from the side or try it from the side if it’s always the missionary.
You can even try tantric sex, a kind of sensual and slow lovemaking that places the focus on deep intimacy. This is a more complex approach to sex that quite a few women enjoy. If you wouldn’t last long enough for tantra, you should still try to build a connection during sex.